My family and I went camping this last weekend. I hadn't been camping in over three years. I was very nervous about the whole thing. When the lights go out so does my balance. I have a hard time balancing day-to-day, but without lights I can't hardly walk at all. Plus I knew that it could be taxing and I may end up with one of my migraines, and when I get those I get bad vertigo spells so.... You can see how the anxiety piles up.
I also have to confess that I tend to avoid most activities. Especially ones that involve a lot of people. Loud noises, people moving around, etc. really make my symptoms worse. Sometimes a big event can cause me to be chair-ridden for a couple of days.
But, my nine-year-old daughter was SO excited. Every time I got overwhelmed I took one look at her smile and excitement and made myself overcome. Once we got there and got camp set up though, I was so very glad that I did. When we camp we like to go somewhere that isn't a 'popular' campground. That way there aren't other people around, and it is quiet. Sitting by the campfire, making hot cocoa, and relaxing in the sun almost made me feel back to my old self. I even ventured a walk down by a creek, and watched my daughter and husband play in the water.
I did have one bad morning, and slept awful the first night. Once I got past that though I relaxed and let go of more stress than I have for the past two years.
I just wanted to share this experience with all of you. It made me realize how focused I've become on my disability, and help me put things in perspective. It also made me realize that while i can't push myself all of the time, sometimes it is worth the extra push to enjoy something with the family. I hope that some of you can have the same experience I did. I needed it - and I didn't realize how much I needed it! I think sometimes we all need to find a distraction. It is easy to become overwhelmed and depressed from something that we may not ever get relief from.