Poetry and other musings

Movement

Walking

Today I stumble little;

Yesterday I fell.

Hands

Now my hands craft letters unthinkingly;

Last night I stopped trying.

Language

Tuesday the words flowed like water;

This morning I stutter and search for words and get lost.

Pain

Only an inconvenience today;

Last night I wanted serious drugs.

Joints

Today I walk like I'm 80;

Last week I made it to Lilith Fair

Thought

When the fog lifts, I recognize my old self;

Other times, I mourn the stranger I have become.

Memory

I forget this one.

Depression

Sometimes the clouds part, and life is sunny;

Other times, I stay in bed.

Connecting

Today it is pure joy;

On Wednesday I turned off my phone.

Fear

Today I could fight the devil itself;

Tomorrow it may batter me.

Sadness

Last week I shed honest tears;

Last month I could not find them.

Loss

Now it takes it's rightful place;

Tomorrow it may blind me to all else.

Acceptance

At moments, I rest in it like my favorite robe; I love the river

and delight in the journey;

Most of the time I want to break shit.

Joy

Can surprise me;

The unspeakable beauty of a rose; the scent of baby powder; my hands in warm soapy dishwater; a smile from the bus driver; my daughter's laughter; my friend's

insight; my cat purring; a witty exchange; a stranger's kindness; clean sheets;

early morning and evening light; a song that gets it just right; watching a beautiful dance; the crash of a wave...

In those moments, I am happy, finally, just to be here.;

But then I lose sight and notice none of these things.

When I can notice the good, I regain hope.

Perhaps this illness is growing me up.

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Comment by Carol Gow on July 16, 2010 at 3:47pm: Hello Lorinn
This is beautiful. I particularly like language and thought.
Yes, the condition of ataxia is 'growing me up' but you and your talents are still there.
Remember it is alright to have 'off days, we all do.
Take care of yourself
Carol